I stood up and turned on the faucet. My face was so puffy from all that crying, so I stood over the sink and splashed cold water on my face until I felt more calm. I shook my head, and droplets of water flew around the bathroom. Deep breath. Sigh. I looked at my wet, red face in the mirror - My eyes were shining, bright blue, the windows to my soul were telling me to just chill. Today sucks, but tomorrow is another day.
I could hear the annoying sounds of some dumb reality show emanating from the other room. He was in there, zoning out to the TV instead of trying to help calm me down. He never was very good at dealing with emotions. I felt trapped, I was angry with him and didn't want to be in his presence at all. However, this tiny motel room was just that, and the bathroom was the only place to escape to. It was dark outside and the town we were in was sketchy at best, but I honestly didn't care about that. I opened the door to the bathroom, walked wordlessly to the exit door, and went outside. The air was cool and fresh. It smelled pretty good - considering this was New Jersey, I was pleasantly surprised, and it actually made me smile. I stuffed my hands into the pouch pocket of my hoodie, and walked.
With each step away from the motel, I felt better. Each step away from him, from this less-than-mediocre existence gave me a little more strength. I wished I could just keep walking. But where would I go? After all, I was a stranger in a strange land. I had no money, no cell phone, just some cigarettes and my thoughts. Wouldn't get me too far.
The moon was almost full. I could see it reflecting on the horizon. I thought it was strange - I wasn't aware that there were any lakes or ponds around here. I followed the reflection. When I reached the water, I was taken aback by the beauty of it. I wished I had known before that this pond was here; I'd have visited it much sooner. There was a small hill just to my right, and I walked over to it and sat down. As I looked at the shimmering reflection of the moon on the water, I took a deep breath. As I exhaled, I felt a calm unlike anything I had ever felt before - and then I heard my voice say, "Got yourself in pretty deep, didn't you?" I chuckled to myself - mind playing tricks on me, don't ya know. But then I looked to my right, and I saw myself walking towards me. My eyes widened. I sat down next to myself and smiled. "Surprised to see me?" I just blinked in response. It was me, but a little thinner, more tattoos, longer hair. She was me, but older, wiser, it seemed. Our eyes met, and I knew that this was no trick of the mind.
"I know what you're going through," she said. "I remember it well. Probably my lowest point," she looked down at the ground and shook her head. She took in a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. "This isn't the end, you know. There's still going to be more disappointments, more stress. But you will get through it. Seems hard now, I know, and it is, but you are going to come out of it much stronger than you ever thought you would be. I know, because I've been there, and I'm still here."
I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Er, well, ME. I was flooded with mixed emotions - this was pretty weird, but at the same time, I have never felt more comfortable in the presence of anyone else. I started to speak, but the words got caught in my throat. She shushed me and said softly, "Don't ask any questions, k? I can't tell you too much about the future yet. I just want you to know that you are gonna be alright. But just be prepared. There's still a lot of turmoil ahead for you to conquer before you get to where I am." With that, she stood up and dusted herself off. "Go home," she told me. "He's not going anywhere. Not yet, anyway." I watched her walk away, and I shook my head as if I was trying to shake off delirium.
I looked back over the pond at the reflection of the moon. The water was completely still, and my mind began to come back to where it was when I first arrived. I got up, dusted the dirt off my butt, and started walking back towards the hotel, with no memory of what just happened.